Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Of Zombie Babies and Nocturnal Lagophthalmos

I wear many different hats these days. Wife. Mom. Zombie Enthusiast. A darling red plaid fedora I picked up on the cheap.

You heard her wrong, honey. The checkout girl totally said I look "rad." With an "R," not a "B."

It was only a matter of time before the different parts of my life collided. Why oh why couldn't the collision involve the fedora?

So, the Little One. Let's call him the Littlest Kraken because, well, if you heard the sea monster-esque noises emitting from that baby monitor night and day, you wouldn't doubt the child is at least 75% mythical aquatic beast. The Littlest Kraken, LK for short, has developed a habit even I think is disturbing. My darling boy occasionally likes to sleep with his eyes open. I KNOW! Horrifying. The first time I caught him doing it, I figured lack of sleep had me hallucinating. The second time, I wanted to purchase a baby sleep mask and and a lobotomy poker (for me -- there are some things you can't unsee). The 87th time? Meh, it's still creepy, but I have to admit that if this is his main quirk, it's still preferable to just about anything he could have inherited.

Being the terrified diligent first-time-mom I am, I subscribe to the weekly babycenter.com emails. Low and behold, what comes through to my inbox today? An email from Baby Center containing the following question: "Is it normal for my baby to sleep with her eyes open?"

Excellent question, anonymous mother of a baby girl! I've been wondering that very thing. And here's the answer provided in the article, first two sentences:
Yes, it's normal, but it certainly looks odd. As Concord, California, naturopathic doctor Tara Levy puts it: "Zombie kid! Watch out!"
Okay, the emphasis is mine. Even so, zombie kid? If two things in my admittedly eclectic life had to merge, I could have found a better pairing.

Joking aside, the condition, known medically as nocturnal lagophthalmos, is common in infants, harmless, and usually outgrown by the time a child reaches 18 months of age. Still though, creepy. CREEPY!

The article offers some medical advice, but overall advises "...don't fear the zombie kid." Sure. Don't fear. Be lulled into a false sense of security. Everyone knows that's when the zombies strike!


Notice the tag-to-mouth ratio? The child's already a biter.

5 comments:

  1. You are very funny. But if anyone should have a zombie kid, it's you. Embrace it! You did this to him :)

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  2. I brought this on myself. Time to start looking for a cure, I suppose...

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