Sunday, July 11, 2010

Of Ants and Antics

Two nights ago, in the midst of a sweet tooth attack, my Nicholas decided he wanted a chocolate chip cookie cake. Fortunately, Kroger has many varieties and Nick got to choose the one he wanted most. The cookie cake in question was designed to look like a watermelon covered in ants.

No, I'm not kidding.

Nothing says delicious like an ant infestation

As you can see, the cookie cake is decorated not just with any ants, but with giant, plastic ants the size of prehistoric bugs I can only imagine pestered the dinosaurs. Once home, these ants were quickly repurposed from cookie cake decoration to cat toy. Well, that was the intention at least. I have yet to see the cat approach said "toys."

Last night, sometime after midnight, I took the dog outside for his nightly walk. Upon reentering the house, a scream the likes of which I haven't emitted since riding the SkyCoaster tore itself from my vocal chords. Notice the verb tore, because I had no control over said scream. It's my body's natural reaction when I narrowly miss contact with what I believed to be a large, overturned roach on my living room floor.

I think you can see where this is going.

Sure, this may not look like a roach now,


but flip it upside down, where its little plastic legs are free to stick up the in the air, exposing its segmented plastic body.


Mix it in with a bunch of dog toys near the poorly lit back door where I'm going to stumble upon it, half asleep late at night, and you've produced a scream-worthy menace.

Of course, my hysterics quickly ended when I realized what the roach-like fiend actually was and Nick spent the next 10 minutes laughing at my expense.

Tell me I'm not the only one to mistake something harmless for something far more sinister.

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